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Plan To Stop School Violence: Build Generation Of Good Friends

Tariq Dyson, a student at Nathan Hale High School, attended a conference at Seattle University about combatting bullying in school.
KUOW Photo/Joshua McNichols
Tariq Dyson, a student at Nathan Hale High School, attended a conference at Seattle University about combatting bullying in school.

At Seattle University Wednesday a small number of high school students chosen from around Seattle were taught how to combat violence in schools. But they weren’t taught how to tackle a shooter, they were taught how to listen.

Tariq Dyson, 16, goes to Nathan Hale High School in Seattle.He knows how bullying can lead to violence.He saw it happen with his cousin who was teased because he was heavy.

"He got so tired of being picked on that he snapped and fought the kid that was picking on him," Dyson said. "Ever since then, every kid that tried to say sorry, he just pushed them away and said, 'I don’t want anything from anybody. I’m all alone.' He just feels so hurt. He just feels that pain."

Researchers at Seattle University have been studying bullying. Dr. Samuel Song said while he can’t prove bullying leads to school shootings, there is a correlation, like the correlation between smoking and lung cancer.

But he said the answer isn’t to eliminate conflict between kids. Instead, kids should be taught to listen to each other, otherwise they miss stuff like social cues. Dyson knows how they can slip by unnoticed.

"Social media is a big one. Sometimes, people just post quotes of songs. It's like a sad song, or a song where somebody feels hurt. And you read it and you’re like, maybe that’s just their favorite lyrics. But maybe they’re feeling something," he said.

[asset-images[{"caption": "Nathan Hale students hope to start a \"Just Say Hey\" movement in their school as a way to make all students feel included.", "fid": "115285", "style": "offset_left", "uri": "public://201502/Just_Say_Hey.JPG", "attribution": "Credit KUOW Photo/Joshua McNichols"}]]After the conference, Dyson thought about all the other kids at his school who might be feeling down. "I see a lot of kids in my school, just sort of walking around, nobody talking to them -- eating lunch by themselves."

He said he’s going say ‘hi’ to every kid, maybe shake their hand or give them a hug. "Make sure they’re okay. And if they’re not, I’m willing to listen and help whatever the problem is."

That’s an unexpected thing that’s come out of school shootings: It’s caused us to rethink the way we treat each other. Teaching kids like Dyson to empathize not only makes schools safer, it’s building a generation of people who make really good friends.